Things are always available when they are not needed. Last December, my brother and I went to Laguna Beach and stumbled upon this little newsstand that happened to carry the December issue of French Vogue that comes with 2008 calendar. I wasn't even looking for it and didn't even know such a thing existed. Of course I bought it and had a years supply of fashion model porn and it was amazing and i jizzed in my pants everyday. Now the years end is upon us and I searched orange fucking county high and low and can't find the December issue of Frech Vogue ANYWHERE!!! I am about to go to the one on 3rd street in santa monica to see if i am lucky. Where else am I going to get my daily fix of model fashion porn if its not from the 2009 vogue calendar?
wish me luck
Monday, December 29, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
i think about death a lot
i do.
its strange. but i do.
there is something so fascinating about it.
i wonder a lot about what is in store for me in life.
what is out there. what is .
beyond.
sometimes my life feels like some sort of fantasy or dream.
ill step back.
and take almost a birds eye view of my own life.
of what i am doing.
what i am saying.
who i am with
its so strange.
i think about heaven.
about god
about space
i read these books and play with paint.
move colors around.
but thats besides the point. the point i am trying to make is.
i always think about death
i think
what if i died
right now.
is it odd to think........ what a relief.
i am just so curious to see what is beyond.
and just now. right this second. as i am typing this. the thought popped in my head.
what if there is nothing else.
what if i really do just rot.
and its black and cold and dark and muddy
god how horrible.
nope dont believe that.
when i think about dying. i picture myself on a cloud
looking down
at people
at everyone at once
with my fingers over the edge hiding behind a cloud
yeah there for sure is something else out there.
i mean how else can you accredit all this beauty in our universe from the astronomically big to the microscopically small.
i just want to know. i want to see it. i want to experience it.
i am also lazy
and i want to dream .
the other day i was sleeping in my bed and had the most incredible dreams.
i thought to myself.
what if i just dreamt all day.
i could lay here and close my eyes and just go.
if had the most incredible dreams and i think what if i dreamt for the rest of my life.
what if i just slept.
and then i thought. well.
wouldnt that be almost the same as being dead?
hibernating if you will.
i dont want to do anything
i want to do nothing
always
but .
thats impossible.
so instead i think. well
lets make the most of it. and stay positive.
lets make great things and notice the little beauties everywhere.
lets experience everything.
lets try anything.
lets get lost.
friends.
people.
other humans.
i sit on the freeway and imagine everyone as sheep or gazelle or wildebeest.
migrating.
moving.
mooing.
honking
barking and biting.
only the strong survive.
so many ways to look at literally anything.
the world is enormous and tiny at the same time. i am lightyears away.
so far so close all at the same time.
i am a sponge.
soaking life and air up.
inhaling it all.
devouring it.
text and letters and colors and shapes and sounds black and white and hues and stars and space and touch and people and taste and cold and new and old and wet and crisp and red and orange and blue and green and rain and wind and ocean and ink and oil and gas and feathers and fish and pots and cameras and lenses and hearts and cards and fires and freezers and magazines and paper and hammers and lighters and bongs and strings and jeans and canvas and paint and keys and buttons.
how nice it would be to dream.
i dont care what anyone thinks.
nobody
not one person.
i care what everyone thinks
i care about what every single person on earth thinks.
i love everything
love everything
i love making things
and breaking things
and well everything
i love experience
i am in love with experience
i am addicted to experience
nerve synapses
senses
aesthetics
what makes something pleasing to someone and not the other
why do those colors go together
music to my ears
birds chirping
the fan whirling all night long.
humming and humming me to sleep.
i think this is a dream because.
well because it is too good
but
why
why do i think that
what is too good. why cant it just be normal. is it so bad that i like everything
everything
literally
i could die tonight
i could live forever
i think i would be just as happy doing either
and well isnt that the point
good vibrations
just buzzing and buzzing out of me
i just want to vomit positivity everywhere
i want to do nothing
i want to sleep forever
i am always tired.
clothes and hats and shoes and hair and fat and skin and bone and blood and scarves and socks
cells and molecules and diseases
organs
i am fascinated by death
by skulls
skeletons
the grotesque
gore
blood
fungus
eyes and ears and wax and saliva
tears and salt
dont get me wrong i am the happiest person i know
wisdom comes with age
and i am as stupid as they come
to know me is simple.
but i think very few people if anyone actually know me.
i dont know how to be honest because i dont know what is real
am i being honest now
yes.
honest as in these are my real thoughts unedited
stream of consciousness
i
u
me
he
she
we
eye
you
iou
nothing
. thats it.
its strange. but i do.
there is something so fascinating about it.
i wonder a lot about what is in store for me in life.
what is out there. what is .
beyond.
sometimes my life feels like some sort of fantasy or dream.
ill step back.
and take almost a birds eye view of my own life.
of what i am doing.
what i am saying.
who i am with
its so strange.
i think about heaven.
about god
about space
i read these books and play with paint.
move colors around.
but thats besides the point. the point i am trying to make is.
i always think about death
i think
what if i died
right now.
is it odd to think........ what a relief.
i am just so curious to see what is beyond.
and just now. right this second. as i am typing this. the thought popped in my head.
what if there is nothing else.
what if i really do just rot.
and its black and cold and dark and muddy
god how horrible.
nope dont believe that.
when i think about dying. i picture myself on a cloud
looking down
at people
at everyone at once
with my fingers over the edge hiding behind a cloud
yeah there for sure is something else out there.
i mean how else can you accredit all this beauty in our universe from the astronomically big to the microscopically small.
i just want to know. i want to see it. i want to experience it.
i am also lazy
and i want to dream .
the other day i was sleeping in my bed and had the most incredible dreams.
i thought to myself.
what if i just dreamt all day.
i could lay here and close my eyes and just go.
if had the most incredible dreams and i think what if i dreamt for the rest of my life.
what if i just slept.
and then i thought. well.
wouldnt that be almost the same as being dead?
hibernating if you will.
i dont want to do anything
i want to do nothing
always
but .
thats impossible.
so instead i think. well
lets make the most of it. and stay positive.
lets make great things and notice the little beauties everywhere.
lets experience everything.
lets try anything.
lets get lost.
friends.
people.
other humans.
i sit on the freeway and imagine everyone as sheep or gazelle or wildebeest.
migrating.
moving.
mooing.
honking
barking and biting.
only the strong survive.
so many ways to look at literally anything.
the world is enormous and tiny at the same time. i am lightyears away.
so far so close all at the same time.
i am a sponge.
soaking life and air up.
inhaling it all.
devouring it.
text and letters and colors and shapes and sounds black and white and hues and stars and space and touch and people and taste and cold and new and old and wet and crisp and red and orange and blue and green and rain and wind and ocean and ink and oil and gas and feathers and fish and pots and cameras and lenses and hearts and cards and fires and freezers and magazines and paper and hammers and lighters and bongs and strings and jeans and canvas and paint and keys and buttons.
how nice it would be to dream.
i dont care what anyone thinks.
nobody
not one person.
i care what everyone thinks
i care about what every single person on earth thinks.
i love everything
love everything
i love making things
and breaking things
and well everything
i love experience
i am in love with experience
i am addicted to experience
nerve synapses
senses
aesthetics
what makes something pleasing to someone and not the other
why do those colors go together
music to my ears
birds chirping
the fan whirling all night long.
humming and humming me to sleep.
i think this is a dream because.
well because it is too good
but
why
why do i think that
what is too good. why cant it just be normal. is it so bad that i like everything
everything
literally
i could die tonight
i could live forever
i think i would be just as happy doing either
and well isnt that the point
good vibrations
just buzzing and buzzing out of me
i just want to vomit positivity everywhere
i want to do nothing
i want to sleep forever
i am always tired.
clothes and hats and shoes and hair and fat and skin and bone and blood and scarves and socks
cells and molecules and diseases
organs
i am fascinated by death
by skulls
skeletons
the grotesque
gore
blood
fungus
eyes and ears and wax and saliva
tears and salt
dont get me wrong i am the happiest person i know
wisdom comes with age
and i am as stupid as they come
to know me is simple.
but i think very few people if anyone actually know me.
i dont know how to be honest because i dont know what is real
am i being honest now
yes.
honest as in these are my real thoughts unedited
stream of consciousness
i
u
me
he
she
we
eye
you
iou
nothing
. thats it.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
WOW
so i was randomly googling. and as i google imaged cy twombly.... i was sent to THIS BLOG!
lol pretty exciting. i wonder who the heck reads this.
lol pretty exciting. i wonder who the heck reads this.
well why not . some reading material ? happy thanksgiving
so last night we had our first annual danksgiving. it was pretty awesome to say the least and i was thoroughly impressed with the meal we pulled off. i mean turkey, veggies, stuffing, mashed potatoes, green beans, corn, cranberry sauce, gravy, the works. um but thats not really want i want to talk about.
- it rained for the first time since i can even remember.
_________last year maybe?__________________
i loved it.
some dogs had to be cancelled but some still got walked. the sky has been incredible lately . here are some photos from my campus and driving around. gotta love the cell. oh and sandy is a dog that i walk. took him to the beach today. oh and guido is the greyhound i walked today. i apologize if i am all over the place because i am just super tired and scatterbrained
redid that simple black one and here is a second attempt at a self-portrait. just one days work. great start id say though. roughly 3' x 7'
so i have about a million favorite artists right now when it comes to sculpture. but. id say anish kapoor tops the list
Anish Kapoor does something with his work that most would call impossible. Within his pieces, he is able to create nothing out of something. He breathes life and spirit to the inanimate. Throughout the span of Kapoor’s life, his work has tried to bridge the earthly and heavenly. Through space, light, volume, and mass, he is able to create voids that are not there. He is able to materialize infinity. He gives shape and form to things that lie in the spiritual realm. He transports man to a place where senses are tricked as if in a dream. He evokes both fear and awe.
Born in Bombay, and working out of London, Kapoor uses simple abstract forms which are representational in so far as these forms represent something present inside us all that we can all relate to when viewing his work. He creates a space for the viewer, a shrine, in which the viewer can become lost in, whether it be the space in between the small forms of bright pigment scattered against different horizons in 1000 Names, or his mammoth pieces or buildings that dive actually into deep voids, or that give the illusion of such space with mirrors and lighting as in Untitled 1996, Turning the World Upside Down, or Descent into Limbo. Sometimes this space or void may be subtle. The viewer may see only a black spot on the surface of a stone or pillar as in those in Void Field, but as they approach they see that this spot is an opening to a cavity of darkness.
Kapoor relates much of his work and these voids and spaces of infinity and darkness to what he calls a “matriarchal view of creativity, of energy”. He states, “it seems to me that that is towards darkness, perhaps towards the womb . . . darkness is formless”. The essential issue of his work is that the scale always relates to the body. In his early pigment works, a sense of place was generated between the objects (1000 Names). This place has now moved inside the object so it has been necessary to change the scale. The pace within is a mind/body space, a shrine for one person. In pieces such as Untitled 1996 or Madonna the concave and convex shapes distort the senses and draw your eyes and at times the whole body in. Where Untitled is an actual void, where the steps in creating such an experience seem almost impossible and approaching seems dangerous, the deep blue hue of Madonna invites the viewer in. Once close enough, the shape envelops the viewer and fear is replaced with awe, and discomfort is replaced with comfort. Perspective and distance are lost in a void that is not there. Comfort is found in the round womb-like shape.
For Kapoor, the passage from emptiness to fullness must be actualized in the materials used. “At the same time, if this material is to convey emptiness, it must be dematerialized.” To maintain the presence of this dematerialized material, Kapoor uses substances not airy and light, but dense and heavy, hard. Stone, concrete, metals and plastics are used in large amounts. These heavy materials are able to create a contrast to the nothing, a home for the darkness, a space for us. We can understand how dense such materials are and at the same time cannot comprehend how such cavities were created in such dense materials. To experience a sculpture of such sort, viewers must lose themselves completely. They must volunteer themselves to “sensual uncertainty”. The viewer can relate the uncertainty in these forms to the uncertainty in themselves, and thus life and a soul is breathed into these inanimate objects. We are able to branch out into the metaphysical, the spiritual realm, for as long as we decide to let ourselves experience the sculpture. In this sense, these completely abstract forms are also extremely representational of something that cannot be represented.
I have experienced the void, or the illusion of such myself. My first experience with Kapoor came at the Tate modern in London with his piece, Ishi’s Light. “An egg-like structure opens to reveal a dark red interior. Kapoor has related this work to Barnett Newman’s paintings, in which a vertical stripe represents the creation of the universe. In Kapoor’s sculpture, a column of light appears at the centre, produced by reflections from the curved interior. ‘The column of light is like a virtual object’ he has said. ‘It isn’t simply on the surface’. The work is named after Kapoor’s young son Ishan.” (From the display caption September 2006). Kapoor is extremely successful in his goals. I was immediately drawn to this piece based on the inviting round shape alone. From the side the viewer sees just a sliver of, if possible, bright, shiny, darkness. As the viewer turns to view the piece frontally and enters, the darkness envelops you. Finished with lacquer, reflections can be seen all around, dark and distorted. The opening at the end creates a powerful band of light, and sounds echo in the small chamber that contrasts greatly to the quiet atmosphere of the gallery and whisperers discussing paintings across the hall. I was immediately moved by the piece and it did take some time to step away.
He is able to reach a place inside the viewer that very few things can, in any medium. With Kapoor, less is so much more. In fact, his pieces achieve such a great sense of simplicity, of “lessness”, that the ratio of less to more is infinite. With very little he creates very much. And even with such giant pieces as Cloud Gate or Marsyas, the simplicity in color and form and light, make these mammoth pieces so approachable that a same sense of infinite comfort and fear is evoked.
Kapoor is currently working on multiple projects and is based out of London. He is a visionary and pioneer today in not only sculpture but also art and new aesthetics as a whole. His pieces speak every language and no knowledge is needed of any kind to experience what he wants people to experience within his works.
yeah its a mouthfull.
check it:
- it rained for the first time since i can even remember.
_________last year maybe?__________________
i loved it.
some dogs had to be cancelled but some still got walked. the sky has been incredible lately . here are some photos from my campus and driving around. gotta love the cell. oh and sandy is a dog that i walk. took him to the beach today. oh and guido is the greyhound i walked today. i apologize if i am all over the place because i am just super tired and scatterbrained
redid that simple black one and here is a second attempt at a self-portrait. just one days work. great start id say though. roughly 3' x 7'
so i have about a million favorite artists right now when it comes to sculpture. but. id say anish kapoor tops the list
Anish Kapoor does something with his work that most would call impossible. Within his pieces, he is able to create nothing out of something. He breathes life and spirit to the inanimate. Throughout the span of Kapoor’s life, his work has tried to bridge the earthly and heavenly. Through space, light, volume, and mass, he is able to create voids that are not there. He is able to materialize infinity. He gives shape and form to things that lie in the spiritual realm. He transports man to a place where senses are tricked as if in a dream. He evokes both fear and awe.
Born in Bombay, and working out of London, Kapoor uses simple abstract forms which are representational in so far as these forms represent something present inside us all that we can all relate to when viewing his work. He creates a space for the viewer, a shrine, in which the viewer can become lost in, whether it be the space in between the small forms of bright pigment scattered against different horizons in 1000 Names, or his mammoth pieces or buildings that dive actually into deep voids, or that give the illusion of such space with mirrors and lighting as in Untitled 1996, Turning the World Upside Down, or Descent into Limbo. Sometimes this space or void may be subtle. The viewer may see only a black spot on the surface of a stone or pillar as in those in Void Field, but as they approach they see that this spot is an opening to a cavity of darkness.
Kapoor relates much of his work and these voids and spaces of infinity and darkness to what he calls a “matriarchal view of creativity, of energy”. He states, “it seems to me that that is towards darkness, perhaps towards the womb . . . darkness is formless”. The essential issue of his work is that the scale always relates to the body. In his early pigment works, a sense of place was generated between the objects (1000 Names). This place has now moved inside the object so it has been necessary to change the scale. The pace within is a mind/body space, a shrine for one person. In pieces such as Untitled 1996 or Madonna the concave and convex shapes distort the senses and draw your eyes and at times the whole body in. Where Untitled is an actual void, where the steps in creating such an experience seem almost impossible and approaching seems dangerous, the deep blue hue of Madonna invites the viewer in. Once close enough, the shape envelops the viewer and fear is replaced with awe, and discomfort is replaced with comfort. Perspective and distance are lost in a void that is not there. Comfort is found in the round womb-like shape.
For Kapoor, the passage from emptiness to fullness must be actualized in the materials used. “At the same time, if this material is to convey emptiness, it must be dematerialized.” To maintain the presence of this dematerialized material, Kapoor uses substances not airy and light, but dense and heavy, hard. Stone, concrete, metals and plastics are used in large amounts. These heavy materials are able to create a contrast to the nothing, a home for the darkness, a space for us. We can understand how dense such materials are and at the same time cannot comprehend how such cavities were created in such dense materials. To experience a sculpture of such sort, viewers must lose themselves completely. They must volunteer themselves to “sensual uncertainty”. The viewer can relate the uncertainty in these forms to the uncertainty in themselves, and thus life and a soul is breathed into these inanimate objects. We are able to branch out into the metaphysical, the spiritual realm, for as long as we decide to let ourselves experience the sculpture. In this sense, these completely abstract forms are also extremely representational of something that cannot be represented.
I have experienced the void, or the illusion of such myself. My first experience with Kapoor came at the Tate modern in London with his piece, Ishi’s Light. “An egg-like structure opens to reveal a dark red interior. Kapoor has related this work to Barnett Newman’s paintings, in which a vertical stripe represents the creation of the universe. In Kapoor’s sculpture, a column of light appears at the centre, produced by reflections from the curved interior. ‘The column of light is like a virtual object’ he has said. ‘It isn’t simply on the surface’. The work is named after Kapoor’s young son Ishan.” (From the display caption September 2006). Kapoor is extremely successful in his goals. I was immediately drawn to this piece based on the inviting round shape alone. From the side the viewer sees just a sliver of, if possible, bright, shiny, darkness. As the viewer turns to view the piece frontally and enters, the darkness envelops you. Finished with lacquer, reflections can be seen all around, dark and distorted. The opening at the end creates a powerful band of light, and sounds echo in the small chamber that contrasts greatly to the quiet atmosphere of the gallery and whisperers discussing paintings across the hall. I was immediately moved by the piece and it did take some time to step away.
He is able to reach a place inside the viewer that very few things can, in any medium. With Kapoor, less is so much more. In fact, his pieces achieve such a great sense of simplicity, of “lessness”, that the ratio of less to more is infinite. With very little he creates very much. And even with such giant pieces as Cloud Gate or Marsyas, the simplicity in color and form and light, make these mammoth pieces so approachable that a same sense of infinite comfort and fear is evoked.
Kapoor is currently working on multiple projects and is based out of London. He is a visionary and pioneer today in not only sculpture but also art and new aesthetics as a whole. His pieces speak every language and no knowledge is needed of any kind to experience what he wants people to experience within his works.
yeah its a mouthfull.
check it:
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